My NBA DRAFT LIVE BLOG FOR THE DAILY COLONIAL

6:55- Good Evening ladies and gentleman, and welcome to a monumental moment for The Daily Colonial.

Once again, we’re at the NBA Draft.

Actually, my credential only got me into the WaMu Theater with no media seat, so for the next few hours please refer to me as Julian Gompertz, staff writer for the Corriere Della Serra.

6:57- I’d like to point out that we will be introducing the best and worst dressed 2007 NBA prospects of this year’s draft, and not to give anything away but Joakim Noah is the runaway leader at the start.

7:02- I am situated dead center in the room on the floor and have great access to the stage, the players, and Stuart Scott’s lazy eye. I also feel the need to tell you that walking into the media entrance I could hear Stephen A. Smith inside yelling about his beloved New York Yankees.

7:05- We are not even five minutes into the ESPN coverage when Atlanta is said to have decided on Al Horford with their number three draft pick. In a related story, this conversation was overheard in the hallway outside the dining area:

Atlanta GM Billy Knight: So, guys thought I’d let you know we are going with Shelden Williams this year.

His staff: Billy, we told you already, he is not on the board this year.

Knight: Oh, ok well what about that guy who is identical to him, can we take him this year? Yeah, that Horford guy, let’s go with him.

7:11- Reason number 256 you know the NBA Draft is in serious trouble, we removed Dick Vitale from his oxygen tank to give us his take on this year’s prospects…I can take Vitale for a month, but he is meant for March, not June.

7:18- Stuart Scott gets the wonderful honor of interviewing each prospect. He is asking Durant about what this process is like. I dare Stu to challenge him in the bench-press.

7:20- Annoying subplot No. 1 of this draft - Mike Conley and Greg Oden have played basketball together since the sixth grade.

Annoying subplot No. 2 of this draft - Joakim Noah will not shut up about his father, and claims Yannick taught him about hustle and grit.

Annoying subplot No. 3 of this draft - We need to confiscate David Stern’s iPod and put some Jay-Z, Kanye West, and Ludacris on there, because I feel like I am at a gay discotheque in Paris.

7:25- I can see the Blazers correspondent here on the floor which can only mean the draft itself is about to get under way.

7:28- Funniest thing yet, Mike Conley’s mother is wiping her son’s face clean to make sure he looks good for the camera. These are the things they do not show you on ESPN.

7:30- Finally, “The Second Coming” a song that gets me just remotely excited for the draft is playing. The lights have gone black and it is show time.

7:32- The amount of make-up used on Mark Jackson’s bald head is remarkable and it is hurting my eyes as I am within five feet of him and Mike Tirico, who is still dishing out corny clichés to make this draft seem more exciting.

7:34- Here we go - the clock is at 00:00 and David Stern has received a mixed reaction of cheers and boos from the fans. He tries to appease the New York Fans by reminding them that the Knicks and Liberty play here. Scratch that, the Knicks and who? play here.

7:35- Portland is on the clock. My money is on Carl Elliott (he just had a workout with them).

7:37- AT THE END OF THE DAY YOU GUYS GOTTA KNOW THAT WHEN YOU GOT TO MAKE A DECISION, THE FACT OF THE MATTER IS THAT, QUITE FRANKLY, IT IS GREG ODEN.
-Stephen A. Smith

7:38- The Portland Trail Blazers have selected...Greg Oden...hmmm what a surprise, walking up he hugged about ten guys in his posse, his family, and of course Mike Conley and Thad Matta. Also of note, David Stern is really short.

7:42- Greg Oden uses hand sanitizer - that will go over well in the Portland Locker Room and on the court with the veterans.

7:46- Wow, huge deal just went down involving Ray Allen and the Celtics which leads to…

7:47- And with the second pick in the 2007 NBA draft, the Seattle Supersonics select an NBA coach to run their team next year. Oh wait, they do not have one of those yet, but they are able to run a team because a 14-year-old who is just hitting puberty is making these decisions for the Las Veg….I mean Seattle Supersonics.

7:50- Actually they took some Durant guy, who might just be the next Jordan.

7:53- Haha, funny subplot here, the clock actually ran out on Atlanta’s pick which is just not surprising. Still, they drafted Al Horford, so if your keeping score at home that is three straight years Billy Knight has drafted a Power Forward (M. Williams, S. Williams, Horford). And yet, for those of you basketball fans wondering, you can only play one of those at a time.

7:55- So far none of the athletes have really wowed me with their wardrobe, but something tells me another Gator is ready to shock the American Public.

7:57- Mike Conley went number four meaning my mock draft is already down the drain, as I had the Grizzlies on the Corey Brewer bandwagon late. A little tidbit about Memphis: their GM, Chris Wallace, is the same guy who has drafted the likes of Joe Forte and almost single-handedly ruined the Celtics before turning it over to Danny Ainge to screw up some more.

8:02- So the Seattle-Boston deal is in the books, which put Jeff Green’s mom into tears because she just realized her son is going to be playing for a franchise in Las Veg….I mean Seattle.

8:04- Jeff Green looks very uncomfortable wearing a Celtics hat. Why do they do this to him? Just give him a Sonics hat and a cup of Starbucks and let’s see how Milwaukee justifies taking Yi Jianlian and putting him in a market that has three Asian people in it.

8:09- David Stern looks queasy before announcing this selection and YES Yiiii has been selected by Milwaukee. David Stern is sobbing in the backroom as he could not find a way to rig this and put Yi in a big market, Yi’s facial reaction was priceless as he looked like I did back in third grade when someone picked me to be on their kick-ball team… shocked. I have never seen such a quiet reception for such a big moment in the NBA.

8:14- You know you are a small market when Andy Katz has to remind us that your team has decided they will keep this international pick. By the way, high comedy as Stuart Scott can add “English Teacher” to his resume, trying to fight through this Yi interview.

8:16- “Yi is 50 Cent and Jay-Z” - actual quote from Fran Fraschilla who claims that Yi is new-age.

8:20- Corey Brewer has a smile the as wide as a Paul Bunyon foot print. (Read: Wolves picked him up.)

8:23- By the way, Boston, next season, will sport Pierce, Allen and Jefferson which automatically makes them a contender to win the East…I LOVE THIS GAME!!!

8:28- It is about time to mention ESPN’s David Aldridge is sitting two rows in front of me with a giant box of popcorn, and he gets paid for this stuff. (He actually asked some really great questions yesterday, which will come in a following column called, “lets see how uncomfortable I can make 19 year-olds feel about their chances of succeeding in the NBA”).

8:31- I know Michael Jordan has Dean Smith and the Tar Heels to thank for the beginning of what was an unbelievable career, but we got the point last year when he drafted both Raymond Felton and Sean May, the Brandan Wright pick was a bit unnecessary. If you did not know he was a freshman and is undersized for the NBA, Brandon reminded all of us by flashing his bling on ESPN, and no not his chains but his braces which were the laugh of media row.

8:34- First time all night the Knicks fans have been audible booing their unbelievably inept GM Isiah Thomas who gave up two first round picks, including this number nine, to get Eddy Curry’s heart problem and the 23 pick this year.

8:38- We are still waiting for the best dressed player here to be selected, and while speaking of wardrobes, I regret to inform you David Stern has fined me an undisclosed amount for not adhering to the NBA dress code as I took off my jacket in this 138 degree room.

8:40- YESSSS, THE BEST DRESSED OBVIOUSLY GOES TO JOAKIM NOAH IN A LAND-SLIDE. Walking by him earlier, I saw he forgot to take his tag off of his Thrift Store five-dollar suit with his .35 cent bow-tie. And just to clear the air, television really makes Joakim Noah that much uglier, as he only made me want to puke for about 30 minutes being here live and all.

8:42- Wait hold that though - Spencer Hawes’ mom, who had received no media attention now gets on live-television wearing a purple button-down shirt that shines in the light here in the theatre, putting Noah’s victory in jeopardy.

8:44- Forgot to mention they showed Spike Lee here before which was the loudest cheer in the theatre tonight and he is now coaxing David Lee five feet away from me telling him, that he better stay in New York or Spike’s next documentary will be about the unsolved murder mystery of the once rising NBA star from Florida.

8:48- More on that rigging bit, David Stern has been talking to the “big-time” media guys like the NYTimes and ESPN.COM in a silenced muffled voice just 15 feet away. If only I could move around and figure more out about this, but I must remind you that we are over an hour into the draft and no one has noticed that I am not a writer for the Corriere Della Serra.

8:50- I would love to start smoking the same drugs as Acie Law III who I swear was begging for money in Grand Central just two hours ago before they showed him with his son being drafted by the Atlanta Hawks.

(I asked Acie yesterday at the media session if he would be playing with a chip on his shoulder after the crushing loss in the NCAA tournament against Memphis. He said he has always played with a chip on his shoulder and that his father taught him about proving people wrong. My only question, which I did not ask, is who was his father proving wrong? Was it the homeless guy sleeping next to track 23 in Penn Station? Someone get Lisa Salters on this please.)

8:57- Time for me to officially tell you that my favorite player in this year’s draft is about to get drafted. Look at Al Thornton’s numbers from last season and tell me he is not the sleeper to win the ROY award...and...

8:58- WHAT!!! Thaddeus Young at the No. 12 pick, I would have been surprised by this pick but then I remember that the GM of this team is the same guy who dealt Allen Iverson for a heap of garbage, gave Samuel Dalembert and Kyle Korver max contracts and has drafted Rodney Carney and John Salmons in the first round.

9:02- Oh Joy, Billy Knight trying to coherently speak about why he is not dumb. Except he just compared Acie Law IV to Mark Jackson who is in the top five all-time in assists for a point-guard in NBA History. Billy, Acie Law is a shoot first point-guard, and a good one at that, but he is not going to set any NBA all-time assists record any time soon

9:05- Julian Wright is my favorite player in this draft for two reasons: One, he has the coolest first name of any draft pick, and two, just like some other cool guy named Julian he loves to bowl which makes him even cooler. I now forgive the Hornets for not taking Nick Young who would have given them the shooting guard which they need.

9:07- The rumor flying around here is that the Knicks may get Zach Randolph for Steve “65 million dollar” Francis and Channing “I can’t even bench 145 let alone 185” Frye.

9:10- David Stern’s voice cracks are becoming the new laugh of media row here as the LA Clippers just vaulted themselves back into the playoffs by drafting Al Thornton.

9:12- Being on the media row with all the foreign papers, people keep emptying out because they want to go interview that Chinese guy and I keep getting asked when I am going to go back, so we could be in some trouble here. VIVE LA CORRIERE DELLA SERRA

9:14- By the looks of Al Thornton and Greg Oden, they are taking this age-limit rule in the NBA really seriously. Guys, you can come out after freshman year, you do not need to wait to start getting social security before declaring.

9:17- Question? Why do the Pistons take Rodney Stuckey who is only fourth on the Eastern Washington all-time scoring list? This means there were three guys who attended Eastern Washington and scored more points than a guy who just got drafted 15th overall.

9:23- The Wizards got a steal in Nick Young, but the Pac-10 player also is the runaway winner with worst-dressed NBA prospect, going with dark slacks and a white jacket.

9:25- AND THE THEATER HAS ERUPTED, ZACH RANDOLPH IS A KNICK. It has officially occurred, and to be frank, this is the best move the Knicks organization has made via trade in the past ten seasons.

9:29- Back to Stuckey - I have discovered Ron Cox is the all time EWU scoring leader and never even played in the NBA...I LOVE THIS GAME!!!

9:32- Golden State loves those foreigners and they come in with the second legitimate shock of the draft taking Marco Belinelli. Fran Fraschilla never disappoints and he said it best: “This guy reminds me of a Vinnie Del Negro and Brent Barry type.” Yep, that sounds worth taking at 18.

9:33- KOBE BRYANT DOES NOT WANT TO BE A LAKER, QUITE FRANKLY DOES IT MATTER WHETHER OR NOT PHIL JACKSON IS A LAKER BECAUSE THE FACT OF THE MATTER JUST HAPPENS TO BE THAT WHEN IT COMES DOWN TO IT ME YELLING LOUDER MAKES ME SEEM MORE IMPORTANT AS AN ESPN NBA ANALYST IN FRONT OF A CROWD OF BASKETBALL FANS WHO WANT TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE.
-Stephen A. Smith

9:33- As the draft continues, we, the media, are receiving transcripts of back-stage interviews and here are a few highlights:

Al Horford about his dad’s antics with the Dominican Flag:
“We’re proud of where we are from and he just got a little carried away with the flag. It’s all good.”

Mike Conley on wishing he had a Lebron James situation with Greg Oden:
“We were just preparing to go on and be without each other and I’m just happy for him and give him all the credit.” (I am in the process of being named the best man, though Daequan Cook is a notch ahead of me)

Yi Jianlian on if he knew about Milwaukee:
“I don’t know much about the team because in China, their games — I didn’t see a lot of games of Milwaukee in China.”

Yi Jianlian when asked about his conversation on stage before the draft with Greg Oden:
“Oden is a good guy, a funny guy.”

Corey Brewer when asked if he was prepared for the Minnesota Cold:
“It didn’t cross my mind but since you mentioned it, it’s going to be real cold. Guess I’m going to have to get a big jacket.”

Spencer Hawes on playing with AHHNOOLD as the governor:
“Oh I was watching Pumping Iron with a couple of my friends, some of those old school tapes, it’s going to be fun.”

Joakim Noah on being complemented on his outfit:
“Thanks a lot. You know, I’m going to be me. I’m going to be me. I think that the bow tie was definitely a great look tonight. I think the suit was really, really funky. I said it was going to be funky. I’ve got a lot of love so far from the suit. I’m just happy, man.”

Joakim Noah on being a Knicks fan growing up:
“Thank you Mr. Paxson, I used to really not like you when you were a player because you used to make me cry but thank you so much.”

9:45- Back to this thing they call an NBA draft. While I was away the Lakers drafted Jarvaris Crittenton which is who I thought they would take, but the more I realize the more I remind myself he could not control the game against UNLV in the first round of the NCAA tournament, so how does Mitch Kupchak expect him to run an offense with Kobe Bryant producing videos behind his back asking them to ship his a** out of LA.

9:48- One of the more meaningless ten minutes of the draft, Miami selects Jason Smith, Philly takes Daequan Cook then they swap them with some cash on the side. A typical Billy King decision.

9:52- The Bobcats take Jared Dudley who was really moving up draft boards in the past few weeks for coolest dreadlocks in round one.

9:53- Now the fun begins, Knick fans have awoken for their selection.

9:55- Spike Lee just said “Isiah Thomas knows what he is doing.” What a filthy liar, ask him how much Isiah paid him to say that on ESPN. In four years the Knicks have found a way to trade 25 players and get back only 20 while going 89-157 overall.

9:57- And it is Wilson Chandler, who was a very solid player at Depaul…AT DEPAUL. I also am disappointed in the Knick fans here who felt guilty booing him because he decided to attend the draft.

10:02- Getting into the third hour of coverage and I was just informed if you have enough money you can buy draft picks which begs to ask why doesn’t every Knick fan spend 15 dollars towards a top draft pick instead of coming to the draft.

10:03- Portland has been the most active team tonight and according to Mike Tirico, the Blazers are just looking to have fun. As a New Yorker I distinctly remember the New York Mets season two years ago when we began 0-5 and a reporter asked Willie Randolph what his first week as a manager was like and he claimed “We are having fun.” Well, the media does not like it when you take your job that lightly so it will be interested what the reaction is from the 12 Blazers fans on Paul Allen’s having fun line. My guess is they will yell a lot, until they realize they are a potential playoff team and than go back to honking once for Greg Oden.

More comments from NBA players selected:

Nick Young on if he can teach Gilbert anything:
“I’m going to let him show me a lot. I could teach him my fadeaway.”

Marco Belinelli’s hero:
“Kobe Bryant” (insert joke here)

Rodney Stuckey on why he chose Eastern Washington over Washington State or Gonzaga:
“I didn’t qualify, I was a couple of credits short.” (If that is not a major red-flag in terms of scouting an NBA player than I do not know what is, but all the power to you guys Detroit.)

10:11- Phoenix (or Portland) has received Rudy Fernandez, which was met with “Rudy, Rudy” chants from this comic crowd at the WaMu theater, but it’s too bad Rudy will not be playing NBA ball anytime soon.

10:15- I know ESPN is the worldwide leader in sports, but when you announce Sunday is for Bowling, Monday is for Arena Football, Thursday is for the MLS and Tuesday is for Women’s Basketball, shouldn’t the guys at Bristol stop taking this worldwide leader of sports thing so seriously?

10:18- Morris Almond was selected, and you can group him into obscure guards that get way to much publicity because Jay Bilas has seen 13 seconds of exciting footage of him.

10:22- Just walked to the bathroom and made two very interesting realizations. I bumped into Yi on my way there as he was on the way to be interviewed by ESPN, and he is no force to be reckoned with, by any stretch of the imagination. He is scrawny, and now it makes sense why he was “scared” to workout with other potential draft players. They would have eaten him alive and you might as well ride this whole “Next Yao Ming” title as long as you can until everyone realizes you are a lot closer to Ha Seung Jin than Yao Ming. The second is that Stuart Scott is short on friends as when he is not asking awful questions to the draft picks, he is squinting trying not to let the weird lighting in the theater disrupt his only good eye left while trying to text message Stephen A. to ask if he wants to sleepover tonight.

10:23- Aaron Brooks wins the award for most annoying guard to ruin my NCAA bracket as I desperately needed UNLV to beat Oregon which did not happen because Brooks and Tajuan Porter decided not to miss a 3-point shot all game. He also was drafted in the first round which is surprise number three in this draft.

10:25- You think Joe Dumars sees the writing on the wall, two guards with his two first round picks. Say Goodbye to Chauncey for sure as Arron Afflalo will take his So-Cal game to Motown.

10:29- San Antonio made news earlier today when they bought the Austin Toros in the NBDL, but after drafting Tiago Splitter at 27, the Spurs should re-consider naming themselves the Austin United Nations as for the fifth time in six years they draft international. As much as it kills me to say this, the NBA’s dynasty seem to know what they are doing and have reached Patriots draft status when it comes to questioning their selection. If they took Splitter, it is because he is the best player available for their team, no questions asked or Bruce Bowen will knee you in the groin.

10:32- ESPN gaffe of the year, they cut to Dickie V, who can only make an appearance once every 20 minutes because he is on life support, who began giving his take on Alondo Tucker before his name came up as Omar Lopez...Swear to God.

10:37- If only this was in real-time I could tell you in advance Petteri Koponen is going to be the Sixers pick as he is in the stands being flocked by Finnish flags and he has a banging girlfriend...and just to add, his handshake with the commish was clocked at 28 seconds...lets kick it down on the floor to mo: MO! (Mike O’Malley is my hero).

10:40- More unintentional comedy, David Stern exits after the first round and the podium is raised by about seven inches because Adam Silver is not a hobbit.

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That is a wrap for round one, but I will be keeping an eye out for our fellow Colonial Monty Singh Harika, who may be still looking to increase his “publicity”, and of course I will also be keeping an eye out for any words about the actual Colonial, Carl Elliott.

Editor’s Note: Carl would go undrafted, and now prepares for a summer of free agency looking for work either in the NBDL or European leagues.